(no subject)

It's strange knowing that my mother is dead. I had always thought that when she died that it would be like a meteor struck my world, but everything has been strangely normal. I feel a little guilty about that. I think that it should feel worse than this. Maybe it hasn't really sunk in that she's gone. I'm not looking forward to the funeral. I was hoping that she would be cremated. Actually, she told my grandmother that was what she wanted, but my grandmother ignored it. That bothers me. She's forcing her own wishes onto the arrangements, rather than honoring what my mum would have wanted. But that's the kind of person she is and she's always been that way, it's just that I wish for once that she would consider the idea that other people can make their own decisions.