queenrikki: k (Default)
  Dec. 1st, 2005 11:55 am
My mother was born 48 years ago today in Bessemer, AL. She died three months ago from lung cancer, though to be honest, the person I loved so much left about two months earlier. My mother was usually kind a patient and understanding. She had her own set of prejudices but she was for the most part open minded. Her death surprised me. Not in the "oh I didn't expect this" sort of way, but in the "A part of me is missing" way. The thing is, it doesn't really hurt like I thought it would. I miss her, but it's sort of like a dull ache in the back of my mind that occassionally flairs up. Most of the time I don't really think about her. I hope that doesn't sound to awful, it's just the way I deal with death.

I think I'll write a story for her. She always liked my stories and I valued her opinion highly. Happy Birthday Momma, I love you.
queenrikki: k (dd/ss ak)
  Aug. 11th, 2005 09:01 pm
My mother is dying. I've known that since we were in the hospital, but this is the first time it's been acknowledged openly. The lady from hospice came over today and we talked about it. I want her to be as comfortable as she can be in the time she has left. A part of me is very angry with her because she smoked for thirty years and she knew this sort of thing could happen. Her dad died from lung cancer too, she should have known better. There's another part of me that wants her to go soon. She's in pain and I don't want her to suffer.


queenrikki: k (Default)
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